Jun 062012

A few months into our marriage my husband and I were having an intense discussion (read: argument) and I blurted out, “no one thinks that way.” I just couldn’t fathom anyone taking his particular perspective on the topic.

He quietly replied, “But I think that way.”

And he.

My husband.

The one who thought that way.

He was a someone.

And yet it’s so easy to dismiss them, isn’t it? The ones closest to us. The ones who matter the most. To declare them “no ones” through a careless word that would never be said to a stranger. Or through our calendars that fill up before thinking of them.

But these closest to us, they are someones. The most important someones in our lives.

Do you ever find yourself downplaying your most important someones?


Photo Credit


 Posted by at 12:01 am

  11 Responses to “No One Thinks That Way”

  1. Hey Stephanie,

    Your name is uncommon enough that I had to cross-reference your Facebook page. I could have obviously checked somewhere on here, but then I would have to look, and that’s exhausting. On to the relevant part. This is an excellent little post. You concisely made a beautiful point. When I post something snide on Facebook, please don’t take it the wrong way. I really enjoyed it. I just lack the capacity to keep from saying witty things when they come to mind. Good work, and have a great morning/afternoon/night depending.

    Mr. Kevin the Great

  2. So true Stephanie! That is something we all need to work on.

  3. I have to remind myself of this so much. My husband and I live very busy lives and we have to remember to plan ourselves into our lives. The same holds true for the kids. They (our family) really are the most important someones, but unfortunately I know I fall short of making them feel that way.

  4. Saying “nobody thinks that way” is simply an appeal to the Ad Hominem logical fallacy. It’s a clever mechanism that allows the person utilizing it to take the attention away from the actual argument. Furthermore, it’s a simple way to rationalize personal disagreement with an an otherwise sound argument by belittling the arguer, thanks to what is termed the Halo Effect.

    If you find yourself thinking this way often, you might be a prime candidate for the American political arena. I wouldn’t vote for you though, because “nobody fit for office belittles her husband that way.”

  5. I’m not sure if I’ve said those exact words to my husband, but I have definitely downplayed him and others close to me. I suppose it’s the comfort level. We know they won’t hate us if we vent here and there. It’s a fine balance because you also don’t want to vent so much that you’re a burden to loved ones. It’s a great reminder to be grateful for those closest to us, even if we know that they’ll love us no matter what.

  6. Ouch! This post went straight to my heart (and toes). Thank you for the gentle reminder to treat those closest to us with the respect they deserve. Great post! Kay

  7. Yes, I do at time find myself downplaying my most important “someones.” Thank you for the reminder that all of our someones matter and that we need to consider their points of view on issues even if drastically different from our own. It was so good to see Dan a couple of weeks ago at Fire…wish I could have also seen you!

 Leave a Reply



You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>