Jun 112012
 

I wrote my first blog post last October. I told no one except Dan. I began writing more regularly in December and started commenting on other blogs. Eventually someone, a stranger, left me my first comment. I continued writing in secrecy until my Grandpa died and I wanted to share what I wrote about him with my parents and siblings.

And then I waited. I wrote, but I waited another three months to tell anyone else except one close friend.

Because it’s scary to put yourself out there. To be vulnerable about your marriage and parenting and faith.

Plus, there’s the reality that once it’s on the internet there’s no taking it back.

And the “what if ‘they’ find out I struggle with pride.”

And the “what if I say something that offends someone.”

And the “what if no one likes it.”

And the “my husband’s a pastor so sometimes I feel like we have to put on a perfect front.”

And, and, and.

But I enjoy writing.

And I like having an outlet.

And blogging helps keep me accountable to my own ideals.

And when I was having a difficult time transitioning to motherhood I read some blog posts that helped me feel like I wasn’t alone.

And to not be alone, we have to share.

And to share, we have to vulnerable.

And, and, and, and, and.

Do you ever have trouble being vulnerable? If you blog, do you find yourself wrestling with how transparently to write?

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 Posted by at 12:01 am

  13 Responses to “Vulnerability, transparency and why it took me so long to tell anyone I had a blog”

  1. I for one am glad you are blogging!! Love you

  2. Thank you dear friend for sharing from one pastor’s wive to another! Love you heather

  3. Uh, definitely. Sometimes when I blog, I read it and think — yikes, I sound a bit too perfect. Which is funny because I am sooooooo far from perfect. I’ll have to work on being more open about my mistakes, failures, etc. Thanks for your post.

  4. That’s great you were able to “go public” with your blog. I was essentially the same where I wrote for my private circle for nearly two years before I realized that maybe other people might actually like what and how I write. And so here we are.

    I do still struggle with transparency. Often it’s more like I don’t want to offend anyone, both people I know and even strangers. So I always have to craft my words so that I don’t just go off on a rant. Pretty much who I am on the blog is who I am in person so other than actual information I keep private, everything else is me.

    There are still things I find I hide or am hesitant to be open about. For instance, the recent post I wrote about keeping your cool and where I divulged how I yelled at my baby, that was a hard one to admit because I didn’t want people to think I was a bad mom. But then I realized that I was normal. Still, I think it’s perfectly fine to keep our secrets from the blogosphere. I don’t plan to tell everyone things I’d rather keep private, and I think that’s okay.

    • I know what you mean about not wanting to offend anyone; I feel the same way. For the record, I read your post about yelling at your baby and certainly didn’t think it made you a bad mom. And I agree there are certain things I’d rather keep private as well. I’m also really careful to get my husband’s permission before I wrote anything even remotely related to him. Thanks for your comment.

  5. Oh, Girl, I totally understand. ;) Glad you’re blogging and glad we met through blogging!

  6. Yep, me too. Pastor’s wife and all. Didn’t announce to any family I was blogging. Except hubby and kids. Sometimes I feel it’s harder to write certain posts if I think family will read it or church members. So I don’t advertise it. But when I shared with my mom she was surprised but happy about it – tho now she gives me topic ideas that aren’t really what I want to blog about ;) (exhibit A for reasons not to tell certain people, lol)

    • It’s good to hear I’m not alone. It does sometimes feel like it’s easier to write if you aren’t concerned about what certain people will think. I’m glad your mom reacted well…maybe she’d be interested in starting her own blog with the topic she’s interested in. :)

  7. […] what if’s threaten to keep me wrapped up in my dingy sweatshirt all winter […]

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