Have you ever gotten into an argument with your spouse and realized you were attacking each other when the reality is, you both wanted the same thing? Try taking the target off each other and putting it on the wall.
When we stop pointing our arrows at each other’s chests, put the target on the wall, and start shooting our arrows toward the problem instead of the person, progress happens. Dan and I have seen this simple change in perspective work wonders when we’re having a disagreement.
Perhaps you’re shooting arrows at each other due to division of labor or childcare responsibilities. Instead of making accusations about the other person’s character, put the target on the wall and say, “How can we work together to bring about a solution to the problem in a way that is helpful and beneficial to us both?” It’s so much easier to find a productive solution when you’re both working against a problem and not against each other.
Do you ever find yourself putting the target on a person rather than a problem?