All of us grew up with family commandments. Some spoken, others woven deeply into the fabric of family life but never uttered. Some of these commandments were positive. Others may have wreaked havoc on our emotional and spiritual well-being.
In Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, Peter Scazzero gives examples of family commandments in 10 different areas including money, success, family and conflict. For instance, “Avoid conflict at all cost.” Or success is “making lots of money” or “getting into the ‘best schools’” or “getting married and having children.”
While we may be tempted to bury the commandments from our families of origin, let’s not forget that if we don’t intentionally choose to do differently, we will default to parenting like our parents did. For some of us, that is less problematic than for others of us. But every family leaves negative commandments in its wake.
Perhaps it’s time to go back and examine these so we can move forward intentionally with our own family commandments.
What were some of the commandments in your family growing up? What positive commandments do you want to be part of your current family’s fabric?
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